Soggy Bottom Brewery

Everyone wants to read beer reviews apparently! The most viewed section of the blog. Here, take a trip in my world then why don't you. Stay tuned we got something special up our selves to quench that thirst. Here you go; here's something to itch that addiction of yours.

I’m three beers in at Soggy Bottom Brewery here in Dunedin, Fl the atmosphere is that of a quality modern brewery. There is a fancy juke box that is hanging on the wall in all it's futuristic glory, but it doesn’t take credit cards. What the fuck is up with that?

It’s nice to review a brewery, getting drunk and writing is a special past time of mine. I put Merle Haggard on the jukebox; its blasting I’ll just stay here and drink. These guys weren’t ready for this kind of fun. Hell, the coaster advocates for not drinking alcohol; in a bar! What has this world come to?

Writing a blog post on your phone is weird. My god, you didn’t come here to hear that. The first beer was a huge disappointment not because of quality or taste, but because of its size. How hard is it to serve a pint of quality beer. 12 ounces; fuck that, I guess this coconut porter is okay it taste just like mine and I love mine. So props for nailing a quality beer; however, I don't care that you had to spend extra on the coconut I want a full pint. I'd rather be charged an extra quarter than be shafted a couple ounces of beer.

The bartender wasn’t looking for the “it’s okay” response. Well Jesus, serve a pint then! This poor bastard next to me is exclaiming give me a 12 ouncer every time he orders. What a dumb ass! That's what causes a mess like this in the first place. According to Pastor Matt I need to try at least 4 beers, before passing judgment though.

The next was a stout and that was a damn good beer! I’ll drink a stout quick, and this one was perfect tasted good unlike a Guness; I’m really enjoying this one. The head disappeared after the first drink and if that’s my only bitch we are doing okay; I need to brew a stout. The taste was that of chocolate, notes the of coffee were tremendous, and finishing with a nice caramel flavor. The beer was lite, which would allow for copious amounts of consumption. It comes in a full pint so your not cheated either.

Unlike Facebook who has become a scapegoat for all of the collectors of data throughout the United States of America. Are you kidding me of course the data was taken from your profile and used. It's on the internet and its there forever if you don't like that delete you internet footprint from every company you ever signed up with online. Next get rid of your cellphone cause they have been collecting data on you for years. Don't use credit cards either they collect and sell your data. How do you think telemarketers used to get your information. The little fobs on your key chain needs to be torn off no more deals for data. Better get an old car and move out of the city red light cameras will know where you are and have been. Don't sign up on the national frost registry either. You'll get used to living off the land and killing your own food bubba. Hell you'll die fast but no one will have your data. I bet this brewery is collecting my data right now the cameras are creepy. Enough of that you came for beer.

Now I’m working on their IPA, wow! This saved them I almost left and never came back after that 12 oz beer feasico. That’s so stupid (the 12oz beer).
This beer is perfect it has centennial and cascade hops that you can taste with brilliance. Yes, I doubled checked that with the bartender who seems like she knows her stuff. It is bitter, but perfectly balanced with a fruity finish that cleanses the palate for the next drink. The notes were floral and prepared the drinker for the big flavor of the beer.

Lisa the bartender is a different kind of chick with a nose ring and flannel shirt. Started off giving a slight attitude, but I was kinda a dick I guess. 12 oz? Anyhow, it’s all good now. The beers I have consumed are Toasted Coconut Porter 5.2%, Stout 6%, and Two-Face IPA 7.2%. Next time I’m sticking with two-face.

Think I’ll indulge tonight. Why not? Our president is an ass he's tied up in various affairs like the Macumba peoples of South Africa who only sleep with women after paying for their sex. Hell, that ugly bastard can’t land a playboy model without paying good money.

On to the Outlaw Amber Ale this comes in another full pint, so they are batting 75% on pulling a pint when one orders a beer. I've seen some places really screw the pooch on this matrix and I've never been back to thous venues. I'm confident all breweries should take all glasses smaller than 16 fluid ounces and let the patrons shoot these glasses with high powered pellet guns, while drinking a pint. Make no bones about it anything less than a pint is highway robbery. Hell, this whole place is covered in mob lingo baby face nelson, and what not probably take a buck or two out of your wallet if you not looking. Don't like to be painted in that light maybe don't decorate your bar like that and especially don't cheat me out of four ounces of beer.

Anyway, back to the beer Outlaw Amber coming in at 6.5 ABV this is a solid beer. It's an American Red Ale that has a creamy mouth feel, and produces a hoppy quality, which blends well with the taste of coffee underpinning the beer. The toffee flavor is pronounced in this beer with a medium finish.

This is all pure gibberish! I have no expertise in tasting beer, but I do know everyone deserves a full pint. For what its worth I'd go back. Should you go? Why not, give it hell, just be careful what you order cause you might only get a thimble full.

What has this post evolved to? Maybe this is how it should be. I just yelled at the moron at the end of the bar who is wearing a make America great again hat, and then I slapped him. Jesus, I had too; the poor bastard clearly deserved it. I mean who likes Russia? I felt the slap was soft but the son-of-bitch spun in a 360 before stumbling three steps and taking a header. Fuck him anyway he’s actively running our fine nation into the ground.

The jackass has been begging these women for seaxual relations since I showed up. Talking about how Alex Jones was censored and suggesting he deserves a blow Job cause of his wealth. That’s how these republicans aristocrats think these days. They believe the vagina is owed to them because of their class. Break out your checkbook bubba.

As I left the bar the women erupted in cheers and begged me to stay. But I gotta get home.

I couldn't believe the nerve of these cops that pulled me over and accused me of striking a man.

Clearly, any trump supporter isn’t a man! I exclaimed through a crack in my window. After the breathalyzer, they let me go. Apparently, a slap that doesn’t leave a clear and distinguishable mark don't count. Well no shit officer!

I've been busting my ass driving all over town to drink quality beers and I only ask for one thing in exchange money become a patreon supporter. You'r not going to like it when the ads and popups start coming out. We got thousands of readers the least you could do is throw 1 dollar our way. Don't be greedy.

"You don't need alcohol to have fun; if your already on drugs!" T.D. Let’s get this party started!

All photos taken by Guilty Addictions and all rights retained.