The time for fun has arrived, autumn is upon us. Football is here. It is a sport designed for the likes of Rutgers and Princeton who battled one-another in 1869 just four years after the North stomped the South, a truly American sport grounded in healing while surrounded by pain. The death will come toward the middle of autumn when the leaves begin to fall, fluttering to the ground, so will the hope for a conference championship, or a state or national title. At the end of autumn after all the foliage has fallen and started to decay some will still be alive like the evergreen standing alone among the less fortunate waiting for next year's opportunity to come alive.

With the start of football some will lead a team out of the huddle, while others become the twelfth man doing everything they can to simply throw off the snap count, which could be the difference between a win and a loss. The twelfth man is best known at Texas A&M where in 1922 a fan was called upon to play and his eagerness to enter the game inspired drunken fans everywhere to express their glee for the team. This is an ownership of the team that most fanatics are not ready to engage in; however, I can tell you with certainty if called upon by the Razorbacks, or Ohio University I am ready to give it a shot. This is a lot of pressure to be under but its necessary, so one must be properly liberated. Can you yell loud enough to scare Jalen Hurts into bobbling the ball while running a QB keeper on a 4th and inches play; causing a fumble, scoop, and score for your underdog team winning that one game you shouldn’t have? Are you part of the team now? Did you financially support these players? Be ready to start! Florida might need a quarterback sitting in the front row, on the 50-yard line.

Enough about college football. High school starts before autumn when it's still hot and school has just begun. Your local high school football team needs your help, and the best thing you can do on a Friday night to support the community is to attend, or coach a high school football team. These games are intense and the games are played, as they should be, except for the stupid mercy rule. The running clock is unfair as all teams should have every opportunity to win and if the team loses by 100 points, that coach should be fired. In high school the head coach only has three years to turn around a program, and if this can’t be accomplished they will cut the coach and pick up the next maverick that presents themselves. No replay produces a game of skill and inches; at no point can anyone allow the refs to decide the game. Every play must be executed flawlessly to move the ball. In high school, everyone is an average player so the best players really shine, causing an explosive play to be something you would see on sports center. These games set the tone and end while the colleges and professionals are determining whose the best. High School Football allows a person to become transcendent, to find a dimension of raw skill and mental fortitude.

Professional football is the least intense of the holy trinity; high school, college, and professional. I’m pretty sure Father Matt will explain how this game is a religion. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are the most holy days, with Monday and Thursday a time for delving into different sects; this foundation of the gonzo abbey has never been forgotten upon me. Pro football provides diehard fans an entertainment that sacrifices the bodies of others for the enjoyment of the masses. Then there are the Fantasy Football fans, a crazed group of individuals with thousands of dollars on the line, trophies, rings, and large amounts of prize money, enough to by a brand new car in some leagues. These people will watch every game on multiple TVs, displaying multicast, and placing large bets through Bovada trying to chase the rush of winning. Many do not understand professional gamblers, the ones who go into a poolroom and pretend as if they cannot play until someone lies down real money. These same people are your fantasy football experts inviting novice players to a league then beating everyone by a hundred points every week taking a large pool of money from eleven stockbrokers every year. Because everyone is undefeated preseason.

Trump is crazy and I am sure a man like that does not like football, oh he will tell you he does, but that will be a lie. I bet he would go to a game and then watch old three stooges clips in his posh box seats, smiling and waving into the camera. All the while thinking of how stupid people are for buying his obvious load of bullshit. North Korea is shooting off weapons, and news has reported if the trajectory of the missiles were changed they could hit Washington D.C. The Antifa is clashing with the Nazis who are out numbered at every turn. The war in Afghanistan is looming on and I am not sure it will end in my lifetime, at this point; the second generation is now old enough to fight in the war, but I’m talking about football, the great American sport.

With any luck at all I will have a trophy, couple of rings, state, and national championships with multiple conference championships, and a load of money from making all the right moves. Good luck, the fun is here.

Update: This post was supposed to be up Sunday; however, technical difficulties have stopped this from occurring. Now a category five hurricane is bearing down on Florida, and the only thing that can save Tampa Bay is the first autumn cold front passing down through the United States and colliding with the monster storm, hopefully pushing this bastard to the east. This will devastate Miami and so it goes either Miami or Tampa will be a disaster zone soon. Good luck with this liberal hoax, global warming is a bitch, and Mother Nature will destroy the meek. Lets have fun, and if it all stops soon the fun will go on with or without you.

Hey! Become a patron damn it! It’s only a dollar for cool extra shit, or are you just a bum? Click the link, there are investigative articles we can’t do cause you can’t handle a $12 yearly subscription. Don’t you want to read better articles?

Click here to cough up the skrilla.

Editors Note: This photo is a Creative Commons licensed photo from Wikimedia.