College football season has caused me to drink.

College football season has caused me to drink.

The first week of the football season is fun. Your college team usually plays a rent-a-win ball club and you can enjoy the whole day without that pit in your stomach called anticipation. We’re staring at the half way mark of the season now and I’m not having any fun damnit. The Arkansas Razorbacks have been a disgrace this year thus far and it may end up going down as one of the worst seasons ever. I didn’t even get to the place at a 4-2 record halfway thru the year and at least hoping for an outside shot at the division crown or 10 wins. At least I can have a few weeks of half-assing work because I keep thinking about how the Hogs are going to do on Saturday. You'd think I would get more shit done around the house before winter since I can’t watch as much football but it has caused me to drink more than I should. I don’t know what more than I should really entails and neither is it your business but whatever. Where am I in this article? Will someone edit this? Will YOU the reader read this? Maybe I should start another paragraph.

Started a new paragraph finally. It’s been almost a month later, or at least 3 weeks, since I wrote that last. A nice cuba libre and a homemade cigarette on a chilly November night motivated me and it makes you see why many of the greatest writers EVER liked to get on the liquor. We might as well write this article live. I’m not gonna fuckin’ read it until it’s published on the website. I’m not even gonna ask any of the editors or writers to look it over and proofread the bastard.

I’m here trying to write a sports article for the blog for the first time in a month or two wondering what the fuck has happened to America? Is this not the weirdest time?

“Tree Loving, Peace Loving, Pot Smoking, Barefooting Lazy Ass Hippies Like Me.”
I’d like to smoke a hog leg with Todd Snider. I think he’d enjoy the blog. We’ll have to pass it along.

The time change has been getting to me this week. I always like to use that excuse for needing a nice bear nap in the late afternoons anyway. Last of the fall leaves are starting to fall and the shit dream of winter is coming soon. The Razorbacks still suck as they did a couple of weeks ago when I started this thing. They’ve beaten Ole Piss and Coastal Carolina by a combined two points the last couple of weeks, hell we’re on a winning streak but it’s the most lethargic one I’ve ever seen. Arkansas plays Lousiana State this weekend at 11 am in Baton Rouge and it’s a great time of year for a shrimp boil and beignets. Gotta get up really fucking early to do all that but there should still be some rum left. There’s a nice slate of college games this weekend too. Jesus, Larry Fitzgerald just got slammed to the ground. And guess what? He held on to the ball. I hope he plays until he’s 50. Thursday Night NFL everybody. I’ve never watched a whole bunch of Thursday games and still just have it on because live sports and obviously football are always good to have on the tv in the background when possible but since Trump made those shitbird statements earlier this fall I’ve put on the NFL on all the tv’s in the house to help with ratings just to spite the asswipe.

One good thing about the time change is when I think it’s late in the night, which makes me start thinking about the possible hangover tomorrow. and I see it’s 9 o’clock. Still plenty of good air to be breathed tonight.

None of that made sense. But does any of the structural organization of this piece make sense? No, and I hope it won’t. I might start writing these articles with a quill pen or a typewriter and there won’t be any damn “spelling and grammar” check on that technology. The red and green lines make me dizzy and keep me distracted from the oncoming storm of a good article. Trust me, it’s there somewhere.

So in conclusion, if you have a good football team don’t take it for fucking granted or I’m gonna punch you in the face because my liver is taking its own shot from a head hunting safety called the bottle.

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Editors Note: This photo is a Creative Commons licensed photo.